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30 January 2009 @ 06:05 pm
On the evils of birth control.  
So I stopped taking Yaz, the pill I was on that made me a crazy, combative, shrewish bitch (I say that like you people would know this, but considering I haven't posted about it, you don't... there needs to be an RSS feed directly to my brain. Let's cut out the middleman! Who needs a computer!)

I hadn't told anyone this, not really, because I felt like it would make me sound like a crazy person. The floodgates opened when I told Lynn I'd gone off the pill today because it made me a bit wacko, and she asked me if it was Yaz.  As it turns out, we both had horrible side effects (obviously) and her sister had a heart attack because of Yaz, too. 

REGARDLESS. I stopped taking it recenty, after a month of ridiculous arguments over stupid shit, blowing comments made entirely out of context, losing any and all confidence in myself, my (hopeful) profession, skills as a mother, and an overwhelming desire to commit suicide (I've never felt that way before. EVER. And for the first time, in the last few weeks, I've honestly thought about how easy it would be, and how it was the right thing to do, and it made perfect, logical sense in my head at the time.) I can honestly say I am a different person after two weeks.  I feel like *myself* again. I'm not angry, I'm not paranoid, I'm not self-hating. I no longer want to drive my car off the road or open the gun safe.

I can write again.  I can talk to people again.

In talking to a long-time friend today, it turns out most of the issues she was having with being in a "funk" last year were also due to being on Yaz. Mood swings, uncontrollable crying, and she also found herself suicidal. She is also not the type to think suicidal thoughts. We're both too arrogant for that kind of noise. 

So, what is this post? A public service announcement? I don't know. In part, it's a call for suggestion. I don't want to be on the pill at all-- I had some minor issues last time I was on it, though nothing this bad, not to mention that whole pregnancy thing happening anyway-- but I'm not sure I'm ready to say I'm not going to have kids sometime in the next five years, so another Mirena is out for now. 

Tell me your best and worst birth control stories. And stay away from Yaz, for the love of god.
Current Mood: relievedrelieved
silveredmadnesssilveredmadness on January 31st, 2009 04:26 am (UTC)
Oh, I definitely will be. Nothing in the world would induce me to try it again.

I'm going to call my obgyn next week and see what else she recommends...